How do we change the opinions of others?
How do we change the opinions of others?
It is not difficult to convince people who agree with you, but trying to change the opinion of someone who disagrees or criticizes another story. To change the views of others and influence them, we must learn how to communicate well despite having different points of view. To achieve this goal, there are essential strategies and tips to have more productive conversations and influence the views and opinions of others by following them. In the following, we describe crucial tips and techniques for changing the opinions of others and influencing their point of view.
Changing the opinion of others in the workplace
In the research conducted for Laura’s book “Edge: Turning Adversity into Advantage,” more than 60 leaders were observed and then interviewed. These leaders tried to convince colleagues and others to change their minds about a method they initially opposed. The leaders who were most successful in overcoming the skepticism of others were those who recognized the root of the disagreement before trying to convince others. First, they asked themselves, “What makes the opposite person resist me?” Typically, these leaders would determine which aspects of their arguments elicited the most opposition and emotional reactions from the other party, then address the situation with one of the following three targeted strategies, depending on the response.
1. Cognitive Conversation
Sometimes, the opposite party’s opposition is an objective reason. If he clearly articulates a logical set of objections and doesn’t seem to have ulterior motives, confront him with cognitive dialogue. This method is beneficial when the opposite person has a severe attitude and can quickly put aside emotions in decision-making.
A successful cognitive dialogue requires 2 things: correct arguments and their appropriate presentation. For example, let’s say you want to change suppliers because the current suppliers’ products are causing many problems, and you find a supplier with better materials and products. But your colleague prefers to work with the current supplier because he has a long-term relationship with him.
He objects to your offer, citing the new supplier’s higher prices. It would help if you had valid arguments that refute the objections of your opposing colleagues. In this case, if you consider all the additional production costs of working with the current supplier, you will realize that working with the new supplier will cost less in the long run. You must have a logical framework and a clear storyline to convince your colleague to reevaluate his opinion. For example, you can emphasize that your decision was based on price, quality, and service.
Don’t put emotions into your words. You must show that from an objective and factual point of view, your colleague’s position is not as logical as your argument. Note that general reasons do not easily sway these opponents. Be prepared to argue with them mentally and prepare facts that prove all aspects of your overall argument to be correct.
2. Champion Conversion
Arguing is pointless when cognitive and logical arguments cannot persuade the opposing person or when they complain about your relationship with themself. For example, suppose you want to give a job promotion to a competent person who has performed brilliantly under your supervision. Still, one of your fellow managers believes your employees are promoted more than his employees. Even if your candidate is more deserving of a promotion, it is still possible that others will not support you.
In this situation, do not try to convince the other person. It would help if you spent time getting to know and building a relationship with him. It is no longer a question of arguments or how to present them (at least at the beginning) but a question of understanding their point of view and the reason for their resentment. For example, you can ask about his employees and which ones he thinks are the most competent.
Gradually, by clarifying the qualities in people that are valuable to you or showing that you value the management style of the person opposite you, turn them into someone who is your defender or supporter. Until the final promotion decision is made, ensure you agree on the qualities required for the promotion and clearly explain why your candidate exemplifies these qualities.
You should not expect the other party to agree to an irrational decision. Your position should have clear logic. Being genuine is the key to success: let the other person see the real you so they can better understand your point of view.
3. credible colleague approach
Sometimes, the personal beliefs of the opposite person make him disagree with your proposal. Consider, for example, a collaborator who opposes conducting a necessary clinical trial for a new product because he believes that the clinical trial might be somehow harmful or contrary to his values when, based on the evidence, the benefits of the practice outweigh the harms. Sometimes, factors such as a person’s education, personal background, and prejudices make it impossible for people to accept a decision, and it is useless to present logical or emotional arguments.
Seeking help from a trusted colleague to change the mind of an opposing partner
In these situations, instead of arguing, seek the help of reliable cooperation. An advocate with your position from another part of the organization who is at the same level or higher than you may be more suitable to convince the opposing person. This forces the opponent to separate you from your arguments and evaluate your proposal on its objective merits. If you and the opposite person are at an impasse, a trusted colleague can change the situation in your favor.
Asking for help from another person is a double-edged sword, as it may worsen the opposing person’s position on your proposal, especially if they feel that a trusted colleague has forced them to take your side. Therefore, you must find the right colleague to support your position while maintaining a cordial relationship.
Essential tips for changing other people’s opinions
1. Start the conversation calmly.
Try to be cool, calm, composed, and eager to learn. If you are angry and know you may lose your temper, postpone the issue until another time. Also, show your nervousness or vulnerability to the other party. We usually hide these issues, but understanding that you are nervous makes others soften and flexible.
Do not assume that the other party hates you. If you start a conversation thinking you’re talking to someone who hates you and doesn’t want to listen to you, the conversation won’t go well.
2. to empathize
Whatever the other party has opinion, you should listen to his words without judgment and with empathy. If you tell him that he should be ashamed or that he’s stupid or naive, you won’t change his mind or convince him to think more about his position. According to research published in the journal “Psychological Science,” empathizing with people we disagree with can make our political arguments more persuasive. Using phrases like “I agree,” “We all want,” and “I understand” are effective in showing your empathy.
3. Find common ground
You can start the conversation by finding something you both agree on. For example, suppose someone says that protests against the police should stop. In that case, there are good police officers. Agree with what he says as much as you can, even if you disagree with some of it. In this strategy, before challenging the person and arguing with him, you sometimes express your agreement with him. By doing this, you can create an open and receptive mentality in him and invite him to accept a new way of thinking.
4. Storytelling instead of relying on facts
Sharing personal experiences and narratives is much more likely to be effective than telling facts. It is easy for people to deny facts, but not so easy to deny experiences. It can be helpful to ask questions about the person’s experiences (rather than their opinions) that illustrate their point of view and avoid attacking them. Let’s say you’re talking to someone who doesn’t vote, and you want to change their mind.
He says that no politician listens to us. Instead of telling him he’s wrong, tell him about an experience where you felt like politicians weren’t listening. By doing this, he feels that you both have the same position. Then, describe an experience proving that politicians listen to you. Tell how you came to know this fact and why it is essential. Storytelling builds trust and encourages people to become more open and receptive by expanding their perspectives.
5. Providing context for introspection and reflection
Many people feel strongly about divisive issues but never think about the reasons why. We can create a space for these people to think more about the issue and form their opinions. Suppose you asked someone about gun bans and asked them to rate their feelings on a scale of 1 to 10, and they chose 7.
Then, ask why he didn’t choose 6 or 10. Usually, when you ask the next question, the other person pauses and thinks a little before explaining. His answer is probably an explanation that is new to him. Due to introspection, the other party may realize that his opinions are not as strong as he thought and that there is room for flexibility and change.
6. Use of rest time
Some conversations turn into arguments. If the other person insults you, you can say, “I want to go back to before you said such and such a thing,” and take the conversation back. It is also good to have breaks and time to rest. If the situation is escalating, use an excuse like going to the bathroom to stop the conversation and give yourself a chance to calm down before deciding whether to continue the conversation.
final word
It is not easy to change the opinion of the opposing and critical people. Understanding the reason for their opposition and using a targeted strategy is essential. In this case, you will have a much higher chance of getting a positive answer. Of course, it is not always possible to change the opinion of others. Still, you should be satisfied and remember that this is not your only chance to talk and change your opinion. Try to learn things and collect information so that you can use them to succeed in the following conversation or conversations.
