improving the relationship with the humiliating spouse

Being humiliated in a relationship is one of the most bitter things that can happen to anyone. When we get into a relationship with someone, the last thing we want is for them to talk or act in a way that makes us feel worthless. However, sometimes this happens. How can we protect ourselves from the insults of our spouse? What signs prove our emotional partner is looking to humiliate us? Should we immediately consider separation, or are there other ways to solve this problem? In this article, we are looking for answers to these questions.

Signs of a condescending wife

1. It interrupts you

One of the critical signs of humiliating behavior is constantly interrupting the other party. This behavior means that your wife does not value your opinion and thoughts.

2. He thinks he is more intelligent than you

Another sign that comes with interrupting you is the belief that you are smarter than you are. Your wife is fearless in showing that she is more intelligent than you in various situations.

3. not empathetic

A condescending person cannot be a good empath for you. When you go to him for sympathy after a significant problem, he blames you for it. For example, he may tell you that you are too weak and soft and you should not take the issue too seriously.

4. Lacks emotional intelligence

Due to the lack of emotional intelligence, the condescending person cannot understand the feelings of others because he only cares about his feelings. Such people usually justify their inappropriate dealings with others in irrational ways.

5. He tells you that you are not enough for him

One of the severe signs of abusive behavior is behaving in such a way that you think you are not enough for your partner. No one is perfect, but if someone constantly wants to remind you of their imperfections and weaknesses, it’s a sign that they’re treating you with contempt. A condescending spouse constantly advises you on what to eat, what to wear, how to talk or walk.

6. He considers himself complete

He sees you as insufficient but himself as complete and sufficient. The condescending spouse thinks he is perfect and that everyone else, including you, must follow his orders and methods.

7. He treats others with contempt

Another sign that helps you identify a condescending spouse is his behavior toward others. A condescending person sees others as lower than you, so they treat them with contempt. If you protest, he will probably use an irrational reason like pay as an excuse for his inappropriate behavior.

8. It judges you and others

Another common sign is the judgment of these people. A condescending wife only needs to hear a story from her side to make a judgment. He doesn’t listen to what you or anyone else has to say. He may blame you or someone else in a situation where no one is to blame, and he wonders how he could have handled the situation better if it had been him.

9. It underestimates your achievements

When you achieve something in life, celebrating it with your loved ones is worth celebrating. A scornful partner may feel jealous and worried about your success. Therefore, he may try to reduce its importance by underestimating your achievement and having a cold attitude.

10. He decides without asking your opinion

Because the condescending person considers himself superior and more intelligent than you, he does not give weight to your opinion in making decisions. He makes many decisions that should be made jointly, without your knowledge or consideration.

11. He gives unsolicited advice on any subject

Sometimes, all you need is a listening ear and empathy. But the condescending wife wants to quickly impose her solutions on you instead of doing these things. On the other hand, because this person sees himself as omniscient, he comments on every issue.

12. He taunts you and plays with you

Being sarcastic when talking to or about you and mocking behavior are other signs of demeaning behavior.

Consequences of abusive partner behavior

The humiliating behavior of your spouse may hurt your mental health. Reducing self-esteem and self-confidence, avoiding talking with your spouse to escape from these behaviors, and getting caught in a traumatic relationship are the consequences of such behaviors.

Why does my wife behave humiliatingly?

According to research, those with narcissistic personality disorder have contemptuous attitudes towards others. Also, those who feel deep inner insecurity or are controlled in the relationship and are afraid of appearing vulnerable have such behaviors with their partners.

The humiliating spouse may not know that his behavior is inappropriate and humiliating. However, this lack of knowledge does not reduce the severity of such behavior.

How do you deal with your humiliating spouse?

Suppose you also have the experience of such a relationship. In that case, you should avoid discussing and confronting the problem to avoid provoking the other party to engage in such behaviors. This doesn’t seem right because staying in the relationship damages your mental health. Instead, try the recommendations below.

1. Confront a condescending spouse

The meaning of confronting is not that you start insulting each other like him or start a fight. This will lead you into a destructive vicious circle. Confronting means referring directly to the humiliating behavior and asking respectfully and calmly to stop such behavior. For example, let’s suppose that your wife has used the lower income of your job as an excuse to humiliate you. If this happens, make it clear that you are upset by his words. Say that I like my job, even though it pays less than yours. Ask him not to say anything uncomfortable about it.

2. Ask your spouse to explain the reason for his degrading behavior

As we said, some people do not understand that their words and behavior are humiliating. Challenging your partner and asking them to explain why they are doing something like that can lead to recognizing your partner’s weaknesses and trying to improve the relationship. Sometimes, a person does this without knowing it. Stay calm and resolve the issue with a reminder in these cases.

3. See a couples therapist

Suppose your spouse belittles you for reasons such as mental disorders or unresolved emotional issues. In that case, you can see a couples therapist. The therapist, who is a neutral person in the fight between you, can teach both of you healthy ways to deal with these situations and reveal hidden problems in the relationship for resolution.

Suppose each of you is willing to listen and take responsibility. In that case, most therapy methods are effective, and the relationship will improve.

4. Take care of your mental health

While following the mentioned solutions, you should know that this issue may not be solved overnight, so taking care of your mental health is necessary. Spending time with friends and those who make you feel valued and learning self-care techniques can help you.

5. Leave the relationship

Consider leaving the relationship as a last resort. Suppose the problems in the relationship, including your spouse’s humiliating behavior, are not resolved at all. In that case, it is time to think about a breakup.