Is my child trans? Diagnosis method and ways to support a trans child

Trans people are people whose mentality and morals are incompatible with their gender. Unfortunately, these people have not yet found a place in traditional societies and are rejected. Many conventional families think that their trans child has a moral or psychological problem and try to distance him from what he is by blaming and condemning him! Family should be the most crucial shelter and supporter of trans people.

Parents should understand their trans child by studying and knowing about it and giving him the necessary support and love. In this article, we tell the signs of being trans and explain how parents can recognize that their child is transgender and what is the correct way to treat these children and support them.

What does trans mean?

Transgender people are those whose gender identity differs from the gender they were born with. For example, suppose a person is a male-to-female trans (M2F). In that case, it means that a girl lives in the body of a boy, and if a person is a female-to-male trans (F2M), it means that a person has a male mentality, but his body is female. A group of trans people also have non-binary gender; They do not identify as male or female.

Humans usually recognize their gender from 3 years old. Still, some children may show signs of recognizing their gender from 18 to 24 months old. In this age range, parents can determine whether their child’s gender matches their body according to the child’s behavior.

How do I know if my child is trans?

Trans people usually show different symptoms. These people are not interested in what is related to their gender and prefer to have things associated with the opposite sex. Of course, note that we do not mean gender stereotypes. For example, it has always been said that girls like pink, but pink is not necessarily a girly color. If a boy likes pink or a girl doesn’t, it cannot be said with certainty that these people are trans.

Please observe his behaviors and habits to recognize the child’s transgender status. If you see signs in your child’s behavior that we have written below, suspect that he is trans and consult with experts.

1. Pay attention to the tendencies incompatible with the child’s gender.

Suppose your child prefers toys of the opposite gender or clothes of the opposite gender more than toys of his gender. In that case, you should suspect that he is transgender. For example, suppose your daughter prefers boys’ looks and doesn’t like girls’ shirts or prefers to play soccer with boys instead of dolls. In that case, you should pay more attention to her behavior.

One or two behaviors or similar tendencies of the opposite sex do not mean being trans; Transgender people usually like to behave like their opposite sex.

Sometimes, children like to be called by the name of the opposite sex for a short period or show behaviors similar to the opposite sex. If these behaviors continue briefly, it does not mean your child is transgender. Trans children and adolescents always have the same desires as the opposite sex, and even with time, they do not stop their behaviors and feelings.

2. Pay attention to the child’s games and thoughts.

Trans children usually express their original gender in their games or imaginations. If you see the following signs, your child is probably transgender.

• When shopping for clothes, shoes, or other items, he likes to shop at the shelves of the opposite sex.
• He has chosen a name of the opposite sex and wants you to call him by this name.
• He prefers to choose his friends from the opposite sex.
• Your son likes to grow or dye his hair. Your daughter always wants her hair to be short and hates to have her hair varnished or tied.
• When playing, he chooses the role of characters of the opposite sex.
• He hates his genitals.
• He imitates his parents or elders of the opposite sex and wants to be like them.
• He will be happy when you let him do something in a way that the opposite sex does. For example, when you let your daughter play soccer with the boys or your son walk in high heels, you notice the satisfaction and happiness of the child.

3. Pay attention to what makes your child sad.

We said trans children and teenagers like to look and behave like the opposite sex. So, if your child’s gender norms are bothersome to them, you are probably the parent of a trans child.

Pay attention to the child’s resistance. For example, imagine that your son insists on buying a girl’s skirt for him. “Boys shouldn’t wear skirts,” you tell him. But she insists, cries, and says, “I am not a boy. I am a girl!” This is a sign that your child is trans.

4. Listen to your child.

Adolescents usually fully understand their gender at the age of puberty. Many trans people talk to their families about their feelings about their gender, but parents don’t listen. They think that their child will leave these thoughts after the end of puberty and the balance of hormones! Not caring about trans teens hurts them. You must listen carefully to what your children say and react appropriately.

5. Try your child

Provide a space for your child to express his true gender. For example, call him by the name he wants, let him wear clothes of the opposite sex, or play games related to the opposite sex. Suppose your child is happier, more confident, and seems more contented than before during this trial period. In that case, they are probably transgender and want to stay that way forever.

How can I support a trans child?

Children forced to behave according to gender may show signs of psychological problems such as anger and depression. Ignoring the true gender in childhood profoundly affects the child’s subconscious. It may cause him emotional issues in the future. The correct reaction of the parents will significantly impact the child’s present and future.

To support a trans child, you must take two critical steps: The first step is to get to know and study transgender people, and the second is to understand the child. In the following, we have given explanations about each of these steps.

1. Awareness and information acquisition

This awareness is necessary for both your child and yourself. Some of the things you should know yourself and teach your child are:

• The meaning of transgender is that it is entirely natural and inherent and has nothing to do with the way of raising a child. The child should not feel guilty about it either.
• What are the differences between female and male body anatomy, and why a trans person’s body anatomy is different from their actual gender?
• Different people at different ages understand their gender. Most children realize their gender at age three and announce it in different situations. However, some children (especially transgender people) do not declare their gender due to ignorance or fear of rejection. Sometimes, fellow trans people pretend to be the gender that matches their body because of these issues, and what they said about being the opposite sex was just a passing phase.

For more information, you can refer to books, blogs, and documentaries that tell the story of trans people.

2. Supporting the child and creating a safe environment for him

Unfortunately, the psychological pressures of society on trans people are more than you imagine. That is why your support for your child will be vital for him. To support your trans child, listen to them and treat them according to their true gender.

Many trans people who do not receive support from their families suffer from mental disorders such as depression and may even turn to addiction or commit suicide. Your support will help the child deal with discrimination and sexism and face his problems without harming his mental health.

Be careful not to blame or ignore your child when he talks about his true gender. Even if this is a passing stage in the child’s life, your attention is still significant to him. If you’re worried about your child being trans, don’t talk to them. Discuss these issues with your spouse or psychologist and let the child behave freely according to gender.

Another way to support a trans child is to keep him facing the problems that society creates for him. Reassure your child that you will explain this to the teacher or siblings. Also, take a severe and strong reaction against people who misbehave with your child and try to increase the awareness of those around you.

If your child changes gender as an adult or wants to look and behave according to his gender without changing his body, accept and support him. In adulthood, many people realize that they tend to act by their body gender and no longer want to be trans. Give this right to your child, and don’t blame him for the past.

3. Getting help from experts

An expert psychologist will help you and your child cope with the transgender situation and know how to behave. The importance of the presence of a psychologist increases when your child struggles with problems such as depression and shows symptoms such as lack of sleep, sudden weight gain, or significant mood changes.

Last word: Don’t be too sensitive

Sometimes, parents get too involved in studying transgender behaviors and may suspect their child’s slightest behavior. For example, if their son likes to play with dolls, they think he is transgender, but maybe the reality is that he enjoys playing with dolls and is happy with his gender! So, if you believe your child has different attitudes to his gender, first make sure with the help of experts that he is transgender and then support him with the solutions we have provided in this article.